Okay, lets get one thing straight, when you have to start out with "i'm not creepy" that 100% means you are. HELLO! Watch ANY crime show. Any perp who says, "I'm not guilty" is.... THEN on to dogs. 85 pound puppy that loves everyone is LITERALLY what my nightmares are made of. Like. Ew. You got the wrong girl, I'm not the blonde bimbo who's like PUPPY!! I'm the redhead who has a snarky face and just says, ew.
Nice try though.
I'm overwhelmed. Again, do the men on here not realize i can see ALL your previous messages? Every last one. You aren't looking like a different guy every time, you're looking needy AF. Every time.
TOO MANY EMOJIS WITH HEART EYES! Stop that! I reserve those for my boo and my besties. NOT strangers!! Those are meant to be LOVE eyes, not LUST eyes and from ONE picture of me all you truly have is lust. Also bombarding me with "Excuse me why are you so sexy" pictures is honest to God not the way to any woman's heart.
What. The. Fuck.
Okay its 2016. Women use to say, "See how a man dances. If he's a good dancer thats how he'll be in the bedroom." Now we look at online dating approaches of how they'll be in the bedroom..... Hi.hi.hi.hi.hi.do you like me.hi.am I good.hi.hi.hi baby.
God no.
I think he wrote the first one and it didn't work so he's like, "Hmmm... new game plan. How do I get her. OH! An exclamation point! Maybe she didn't think I was excited enough the first time! This will definitely work!!!"
Nor will I ever. And good luck trying to catch me, I will pepper spray you. Happily. Also if your hook was just, "I'd love to try to catch you", thats pretty sad.
Thats like a fisherman going fishing and yelling at the lake, "I'm GOING TO CATCH YOU FISHIES!" And then doing nothing else. Then two hours later yelling at the lake, " YOU DIDN'T BITE MY HOOK!" And the fishies are like, "Yeah you dumbass, because your hook is still in your damn boat."
Telling me you're GOING to catch me and actually TRYING to get my attention/chasing me are two veeeerrryyy different things. I'm not asking you to chase me though. In fact, I'm quite happy you didn't. But I thought you should know that you're not the Rico Suave you think you are....
Okay boo. I get it, we’re all on the Brene Brown vulnerability train. But laying out your whole sexual history in your “about me” section is another level. I….I cant help you. And neither can Brene Brown. Please stop.
No mas.
No mas.
Also he's 25. Hasn't had a relationship in 10 years. AKA you haven't had a relationship since you had a freshman year girlfriend. This just makes me sad for you. Please. No.
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